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JOHNNY CRASHED & SOMEWHERE, ME
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NEO-NAZI PUNK, TRUMP LOVING CHUMP,
WANNA BE A REDNECK BLUES
– Johnny Crashed

 
My son came to me and said                                                                                  
"Hey Dad, it turns out that I'm gay."                                                             
"And I'm hoping that because I’m your son you'll accept me anyways"            
We'll I'd like to son but I gotta tell you straight                                                                               
That these are the kinds of things you choose                                                       
 
I'm a neo-nazi punk                                                                                                   
I'm a Trump loving chump                                                                                        
And I wanna be a Redneck Blues                                                                          
 
My daughter came to me and said, 
"Hey Dad, it turns out I'm 3 months along"
"I could really use some health care a place I can go to make sure that nothing goes wrong”
You should have thought of that before you opened your legs 
You know that's kind of old news
 
My wife came to me and said, 
"Hey love, I'd really like equality"
I'm getting real tired of being slapped on the ass and hearing the words Heysweetie"
We'll I'd like to help and I feel your pain
Maybe someday I'll walk in your shoes
 
Right now I'm sitting here on top of the heap                                                        
And from where I’m sitting it looks fine                                                                   
Maybe there's something that they're not telling me                                            
But who cares when the prizes are all mine                                                           
 
My neighbor came to me and said 
"Hey neighbor, we should all hang out some more!"
I've got that mower you need, I'll trade for some weed, it's nice to have an open door"
Well sorry neighbor I'm building this wall
You know someone's gotta lose
 
My friend came to me and said 
"Hey friend, can you stand up for my kind?"
We keep getting murdered by the men in blue. We'd love to do a major re-wind."
We'll sorry my friend, you're now one of them, 
I should have seen all the clues.
 
We'll Jesus came to me and said 
"Hey brother, any chance you could act more like me?"
I mean for Christ sakes did you even read the book or are you just taking the words of the clergy?
  We'll sorry 'Son of Man' I love your robe, 
  But I really gotta cruise

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