Somewhere, ME - In a stunning announcement yesterday, legendary outlaw country songwriter Johnny Crashed called for an end to limits on Illegal Space Aliens. Mr. Crashed had been highly critical and vocal of presidential candidates Donald Trump and Ted Cruz anti-immigration platform saying that it did not represent the compassionate spirit that exists in the best parts of our countries heritage. But it was still a major surprise when he released this statement.
"I grew up listening to the songs of Woody Guthrie, Leadbelly, Pete Seeger, Jean Ritchie, Sweet Honey in the Rock, and Billy fucking Bragg. And in their songs you will always find men like Donald Trump and Ted Cruz. Men who had money and power and privilege but used it for all the wrong purposes and in pursuit of all the wrong things. And these musicians I listened to dedicated their lives to ensure that generations to come would remember the follies of these jackasses and their darkness. In this spirit I want to add my two cents into the current political debate with my new video, SPACE ALIENS UNITE!
Now to be fair I have had my share of negative interactions with Space Aliens over the years. Many of you know that my marijuana field was wiped clean by an alien space ship only two years ago. What I had hoped was going to be the start of a new intergalactic business arrangement quickly turned into nothing more then a cosmic stick up. I lost thirty pounds of MOB to some punk space alien who probably used it to fuel his ship. But I'm not bitter and I'm not going to let one bad encounter put me in judgment of an entire universe. It would be like judging all of Naboo based on the behavior of Jar Jar Binks"
The statement also included a list of demands including: an end to quotas on women under 21 from the countries of Venezuela and Brazil, mandatory girl on girl action at public school assemblies, and the immediate slaughter of all commercial radio d.j.'s.
ENJOY THE VIDEO and remember as Johnny Crashed says, "It's all just a matter of perspective isn't it?"