Legendary outlaw country musician and notorious marijuana farmer Johnny Crashed called on Governor LePage to immediately extend the new migrant worker program until the end of November and triple the number of Jamaican Rastafarians allowed entry for next harvest season work here in Maine. He claims there is a crisis in the world of Maine marijuana.
"There is a tragedy of unimaginable proportions here in our state", said Mr. Crashed at a statehouse rally yesterday. "People all over New England (and beyond) are not getting our weed. We had a banner growing season and we can't find anyone to help us with our fucking harvests. We need trimmers, NOW! They made the shit legal and now all the old ladies we used to get for $20/hr got their own grows and ain't wasting their time trimming someone else's shit." Mr. Crashed went on to say this, "Now I sell weed to a lot of the guys working the apple orchards near my farm and they told me to just say the word and they will bolt off those apple farm prisons quicker then you can say Bob Marley. So Governor LePage either get us more trimmers or we're dropping off samples at the local bunkhouses. See how long they last and say goodbye to your beloved apple industry." Mr. Crashed made it a point to also say that his words were not intended to incite violence against anyone and "...that's just the media distorting my words to sell papers."
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 Samuel E. Gentempo, of Somewhere, Maine, died of natural causes on Sunday, October 15, 2017 at his home of many years, Open Sky Farm, surrounded by his family (Jezebel Gentempo, Garcia Rayn, Sir Lotticans, Skyla Wyla, Delilah, and his long time life companion, outlaw country songwriter/marijuana farmer, Johnny Crashed.)
Samuel Gentempo was best known for being a 5 time winner of the "Cannabis Guard Dog of the Year" award giving out every year by the Somewhere Maine Growers Association (SMGA) as well as featured roles in many of Johnny Crashed's video's (including the animated "Crash Barry" video and "The Life and Times of Johnny Crashed") He has also been at the center of many controversies during his time at the farm including the infamous "Anyone seen that chicken?" incident as well as rape allegations from Fireball, a dog belonging to longtime Johnny Crashed collaborator, Redneck. Despite never being charged the shadow of the allegations put a permanent wedge between owners. Controversy also followed the deceased after the publication in 2012 of his memoirs "I'm Nobodies Dog" which included his claim that his previous owners had forced him into a relationship with a female German Shepard despite Sam's outspoken desire for an Alpha Male. A private service was held on Thursday, October 19th, at the VanTree Cemetery in Somewhere, Maine. The family of Samuel E. Gentempo requests that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to Chew Toys for All, a national advocacy organization whose motto is "Every dog deserves something squeaky to obsess over". See www.chewtoys4all.org for more details. |
AuthorJohnny Crashed is a marijuana farmer living in Somewhere, Maine. His best friend was his German Shepherd, Sam. Archives
February 2018
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