Local Drug Dealers Outraged at Gov. LePage Comments (Claim African-Americans get too much credit)1/9/2016 Somewhere, Maine - Local marijuana growers were visibly upset at their weekly marijuana fueled orgy held at Openly High Farm in the hills of western Maine, after the comments of Gov. Paul LePage were brought to the groups attention.
Johnny Crashed, owner of the farm, and a longtime drug dealer/musician, had this too say, "I take it as a personal insult from LePage that he would subtly imply that it is black drug dealers doing the knocking up of white women here in Maine. I'm a proud Irishman and I came up here ten years ago from the big city to sell drugs. In that time I have successfully impregnated not one, but TWO, white women in this states borders. Each one has given me a fine daughter. And if I can add a second wife like I'm planning, I'm going for a son next year. Where's the shout out to me and my kind?" Morningstar, a local hippie hill cat participating in the orgy, commented, "Listen Mr. LePage, if you had to limit your sexual exploration to white guys stinking of pachouli, you would be out banging the brothers as well. At least they got jobs and don't act like such bitches!" "It just really hurts to hear these things. What's a white drug dealer gotta do to get the same respect as my African-American peers. I mean I'm no Rasta, but I'm doing my part." Johnny Crashed added as he climbed back into his hot tub.
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AuthorJohnny Crashed is a marijuana farmer living in Somewhere, Maine. His best friend was his German Shepherd, Sam. Archives
February 2018
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